


The Phone Call Pt 2

by TeamFreeWill12



Series: Post I'm No Angel Trauma [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: After I'm No Angel, Drunk Dialing, Gen, post 9x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-30 18:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamFreeWill12/pseuds/TeamFreeWill12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's side of the conversation leading up to The Phone Call.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Phone Call Pt 2

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't really expected to write anything past what I did for The Phone Call, but then y'all started calling for a sequel. Well, this one isn't exactly a sequel, but it's gonna give me time to think of one.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, kudos, reads, etc. You're awesome.

It wasn't that he needed the whiskey to bolster his courage. He didn't need it to make the call. He'd been plenty drunk plenty of times after he'd kicked his best friend out of the house and he didn't drunk dial him once.

 

(Not that he hadn't been one button press away from calling him a hundred times. )

 

No, he needs the whiskey to give him a reason, an excuse, to allow his vulnerability, his desperation, show. The whiskey makes him stupid. Any normal _sober_ day, he can go on, stoic as you please, on eggshells with both Sammy and Zeke.

 

He was scared. Sam refused to speak to him at all, and lived his life in the bunker separate from Dean's. Asking Kevin about his brother's comings and goings for weeks, unable to talk to his brother and make him understand how desperate he was, why it was so easy to trust Ezekiel...

 

And then, there was Zeke. Cas had vouched for him, the angel seemed to have Cas' back, that was enough for Dean.

 

In light of Cas'...mistakes, Dean maybe should've taken his decision-making history into account, but there hadn't been time to thoroughly check the angel's references. Saving his brother's life was an immediate need.

 

One that apparently Sam didn't agree with.

 

Sam hated him for not being able to let go. During that last fight, he'd said some hurtful things, some true things, things Dean didn't know his brother knew about, and he went for blood.

 

 _(I was at peace with my decision, Dean! Just because you can't live without me attached to your side doesn't give you a right to do bring me back!_ Again! _)_

That night Dean went into the cellar and grabbed the oldest bottle of scotch he could find and hid in his room, making himself numb so that he wouldn't chase after his brother, who'd taken the Impala God knows where.

 

That's when he started praying to Cas again.

 

Even though he knew Cas was human, couldn't hear him, he still prayed to Cas. For forgiveness. _(I'm sorry, Cas)_ For Cas not to hate him once he found out what he'd done _(I had to, Cas. Tell me you understand that)._ He prayed because he was lonely and he missed his best friend, whom he'd sent away _(I miss you, man. I need you here with me)_.

 

Dean drained his glass and plopped it onto the bar. “Bartender. Another. Please. Keep 'em comin'.”

 

It didn't matter _why_ he sent Cas away, he just knew he shouldn't have, before he even put him on that bus headed for Garth. He knew better than to have trusted in a somewhat sketchy angel, even if he was hanging out inside his dying brother, threatening to fly off and leave Sam still in danger.

 

Especially since it meant that he would be sending _Cas_ back out into danger. Sending the new human away from what has thus far been unarguably the safest place for a supernatural creature to hang out without fear of discovery was one of the stupidest things he'd ever done. And that was saying something, considering he had the half-human former King of Hell chained up in the basement.

 

As he sipped his whiskey, regret whirled inside of him. He wasn't sorry for saving his brother; that was something he'd never apologize for. Sending Cas away, not telling him why, not telling him about Zeke.

Yeah, Cas didn't deserve that. Not even after all he'd done.

 

Dean shifted in his seat, exhaling roughly through his nose. He didn't learn from Cas' mistakes, he went down the same path, and now he was lost. He was back in Hell and needed Cas to come pull his ass out again.

 

_I need your help, man. I need you here to make sure Zeke is on the up-and-up. I need you here with me, Cas._

 

He realized Cas coming back would be the event to call the angel's bluff. It could go either way, but whatever happened, he wanted Cas with him.

 

Dean put his hand in his pocket, his fingers finding his phone immediately. He felt a sharp pang that caused him to inhale sharply, his grasp on the phone tightening. He finished his drink, got a refill, and stumbled to a table.

 

He wanted Cas to be happy to be a human, didn't want him to mourn for his Grace for too long if it turned that his Grace was irretrievable. Dean wanted to be there for some of Cas' Firsts as a human. From what Cas had told him, the Firsts he'd already experienced were something no one should ever have to experience. Including his First death as a human.

 

But then Zeke saved Cas. How could he _not_ trust the creature that was giving his family back to him?

 

_How could I have been so stupid? He's not Benny. Bloodsuckers are pretty straightforward, but angels...you just can't read 'em. If I would have let you in, you might've been able to see something I'm missing._

 

He.scrolled through the contacts of his phone, his thumb hesitating over his old number. Cas' name hadn't been added to the contacts for his safety. Dean knew which number was his, that's what was important.

 

After two more doubles, it was the Dean Winchester trinity of Desperation, Stupidity, and Loneliness that made him place that call to his old cell phone that he hoped his friend kept. He knew it wouldn't be long until he surpassed Blind Drunk and was on his way to Blackout. That was a good enough excuse to drunk dial your best friend, right?

 

His breath became ragged and shaky when he hit the “Call” button. He was so glad to already be sitting, because the world started to spin a little when the phone began ringing.

 

“Hello?” He froze when he heard the familiar voice. Panic started to rise in his throat. _In with the good, out with the bad._ “Hello?”

 

“Cas?”


End file.
